The "Secret" Dilemma

I know this is dumb... REALLY dumb, but the more I think about officially TTC and possibly getting pregnant sometime in the maybe, could-be, possibly near future, I'm wondering the order of "sharing the news."

See, here's the thing. Of course I'll tell my husband first... In fact I've already decided a REALLY fun way I'm going to tell him (I'm so excited about it). I'd have to tell my BFFs Shannon and Gina right away too... Maybe even before I tell my husband.

Then I think we'll keep the good news a secret between us for awhile to let it soak in and stuff... In my perfect world I'm thinking maybe a few weeks at most, then here's the order I'd like to tell people:

1. Our immediate families: Parents, siblings, grandparents.

2. Twitter friends (actually I may even tell them before family... Like, as the pee is drying on the stick. Sorry).

3. My 3 closest work friends and swear them to secrecy.

4. On my blog here and on my Conceive blog.. And swear my other work friends who read it (I think one or two) to secrecy as well.

5. Other family... Uncles, Aunts, everyone who hasn't heard through the grapevine.

Then when I'm past the first trimester and less likely to miscarry I'll tell the others I wouldn't want to tell earlier:

6. Close church friends, other friends on my cell phone list, people I'm close enough with to share the news... I'd probably put it on my personal blog too by then (no one reads it anymore though).

7. I may hint to it on facebook... I actually have a fun way I've planned to do this as well. But most likely people will probably just find out as I'm posting belly pictures. Or maybe I'll shout "I'M PREGNANT" after 4 months or so. I just don't want to be inconsiderate to people who maybe have been trying awhile.

After it's obvious:

8. Other work friends. I don't think I'll tell everyone at work until people start asking.. Which actually, in a news place, word can spread VERY fast. So I'm going to try to keep it a secret as long as possible (I'm thinking until I'm about 4 months or so) I'd like to be showing before I start telling people there. Not sure why... It's weird to imagine myself all pregnant on TV. And if your a working woman you may understand the sort of fear of maternity leave thing.

If it were up to my husband we'd find out... Wait at least three months before telling anyone, and then only tell family. We wouldn't tell people on facebook and I wouldn't write about it on my blog... Ok he'd let me write about it but he says not for three months. UGH!

Can I just tell you that's NOT happening? I think he's a suffer in silence kind of guy but if I suffered the tragedy of a miscarriage I wouldn't want to do it alone. If I write about an early pregnancy here and then (God forbid) lose my baby, I think I'd rather have the support of other women who have been through the same thing rather than never tell anyone. BUT... That's why I'd wait awhile to tell people on Facebook and what not... Not everyone catches every update.

The only down side is I can't blog about it before we tell family... I'm sure my husband's family would kill us... While they don't read my blog daily, his family is big enough to where SOMEONE somewhere is reading, and it would quickly travel back through the grapevine.

That's a little hard for me because I feel like I've been blogging about this whole decision to (or not to) have a baby... Then getting ready for TTC, then you obviously know when I start TTC, then I'm sure I'll be blogging about my first two week wait... Then what? Nothing? If Aunt Flow ignores my letters and comes back then I'll blog about that but if she eventually listens.. I dunno, it may get a little quiet around here or something. I'm not good at keeping secrets so that'll be difficult.

My family, I know doesn't read my blog, but I'm sure that would be a sucky way for any family to find out (which, a similar situation has happened before but we won't go into that).

So what do I do? Hold it in until we tell family even if it's MONTHS?! Hopefully I can convince him otherwise, but this is definitely one of those things we'll have to agree on. What would I blog about all of that time? If I dropped hints would you catch them?

What order did you tell people?

The Big News

Not mine... Yours!... Or anyones I guess. Sorry if I got you excited, but really, you should know that's not in my immediate future right now. But I do have a question about it. I've heard you shouldn't tell people until you're about 12 weeks pregnant. Is that because you could miscarry? Is that pretty common? I feel like once I found out I'd like to tell people right away! Well, I'll guess I'll keep it a secret a little while because I imagine that's a special time between husband and wife to ponder about the exciting and life-changing news. But if you couldn't tell I'm not a private person... Not at all, and I imagine I'll want to spill the beans ASAP. How do you bite your tongue?

I think it'll be hard for me not to share my entire experience here on my blog. It has become like a baby... eeer, pre-baby journal to me, so why stop once I see the plus sign? I guess it could be a sort of lull for a few months but I think it'll be hard for me to keep it a secret!! I'll want to be like "so today I took a home pregnancy test and I'M PREGNANT!" ya know? And whatever happens happens, I'll document every experience, good or bad. Hmmm, I don't know. I'll probably change my mind as time goes on but this is what I'm thinking now.

I'm thinking I won't want to tell people I work with for a few months, so the ones that read my blog will have to keep their mouths shut! I'd probably tell family soon after, but I wouldn't want them to get too too excited in case things change. But I think I'd tell you all right away! It'll be too hard for me not to blog about it every second. I'll want to tell all of my friends cause I mean, you're only pregnant for 9 months so why only get the shrieks and giggles for 6 months? But then again it seems like that's almsot like breaking an unspoken rule. Hmmm, I dunno.

When did you tell everyone? Your spouse? Friends? Family? Employer? Blog readers? I'm curious!

The Big 'O' When You'd Least Expect

One of the scariest parts of having a kid... Labor! I'm not going to get into all of the different ways to have a baby until--Let's say at least not until I'm pregnant. But when I came across a crazy story on 20/20 I couldn't help but think this would be the best way to go.

The idea of a natural birth never seemed appealing to me.. That is until I heard about Orgasmic Labor... Now that's what I'm talkin' about! Although drugged-up and pain-free sounds fun, this way could be even better. Apparently some people try to have an orgasmic delivery while others it just happens for.

I told my husband about the story and told him I thought it was a great way to go but he brought up a good point... While you can try, it doesn't happen to everyone. I'm not sure how common it is but I can only imagine how angry I'd be if I purposely didn't get the epidural--Thinking I'd have a euphoric delivery, but it instead turns out excruciating.

Orgasmic labor also brings up the question of the "birthing video." It's bad enough having one of those to begin with (although I'm not gonna lie I actually think it's awesome) but a delivery video like THAT may be mistaken for a kinky sex tape.

If you like to read it here's the whole story. But you can watch it below.


To prove that it is possible to have pleasure in childbirth, Pascali-Bonaro made a documentary called "Orgasmic Birth." After seeing this story I just had to learn more, so for those of you who are as curious as I am... For your viewing enjoyment, here is the trailer for the documentary.

The Secret

So, ummmmmm, yeeeeeeea..... My husband doesn't know about this blog yet, so if you know him, don't tell him, ok?

I'm thinking I'll break the news of my public confessions when we're like 9 months pregnant and very secure in our marriage, that way he won't leave me.
Just kidding, it's a 2010 surprise for him.

(And honey, if you're reading this right now, I'm just kidding (about everything).)