What I Learned at Church Today: A Lesson in Nursing On Demand

Going to church on Sunday is such a great way to feel refreshed and uplifted before I start my week all over again. But going to church with a baby, I'm learning, is an entirely different occasion.

My ward (or "service" if you're not LDS and have no idea what I'm talking about) meets for three hours every Sunday. The first hour is for Sacrament Meeting, the second hour is for Sunday School, and the third hour is kinda a continued Sunday School but the men and women split up for Relief Society and Priesthood (the kids go to Primary).

Last Sunday I missed about 80% of church. Why? Because she wanted to eat every hour. We'd sit down for the meeting, and after a short while she'd start fussing. So I'd take her out to the nursing lounge, feed her, burp her, check her diaper, to then take her back out. Repeat five times.

By the third hour I decided to just stay in the mothers lounge so I wouldn't disturb people getting up and down.

Today it started the same way. She's get wiggly, and noisy, and sometimes just outright grab my boob. But after I fed her twice I decided to put my foot down. She had eaten twice and she could go an hour or two without eating. She had to be able to. She's four months old and to the age where she should be able to gobble up her meal and be set for a few hours instead of taking sips here and there. It wouldn't kill her (or in my opinion even hurt her the slightest) to wait an extra hour.

She fell asleep nursing the second time I fed her, but she ate a lot before then. She likes to be awake, alert, and in the middle of it all and seems to hate sleeping in public. So when we sat down for the last hour and a half of church I knew she wouldn't be long before she woke up, which she did like clockwork, only about 20 minutes after she fell asleep. Just as soon as it was time for the last class.

I sat in the back and put her in my lap as I normally do. She made faces at the women beside me, and in front of me, but didn't whine. She tried to grab their songbooks, but I tried to keep her from getting a papercut. Note to self: Bring one of her board books next week.

After the song and prayer though she had had enough.

My instinct was to take her to the mother's lounge and feed her again but I decided to try something else.

I took a toy out of my bag and handed it to her. She grabbed it, shook it, and chewed on it for a few minutes. Then she dropped it over and over and watched me hand it back to her. Then she had enough of that.

I then took a pacifier out of my bag and stuck it in her mouth. She actually took it! She's not a huge paci fan so I wasn't sure what to expect, but it entertained her nonetheless. Until she dropped it out of her mouth.

I watched it hit the floor in slow motion and sighed as I reached for it under my chair. Why didn't I buy those binki wipes? I thought to myself. I know some moms put the pacifire in their mouth to, I dunno, wipe off the germs, but to meet it just seems like you're adding your own. Not that I'm a germophobe, in fact, if other people weren't around I probably would have just dusted it off on my pant leg and popped it back in her mouth. --You know that's what you'd be doing by the time you have your fourth or fifth kid anyway!

I reached in the bag and found another pacifier and stuck it in her mouth. Same deal, she was interested for a few minutes. This time I kept my hand propped under her slobber-drenched chin to catch it when she spit it out. It was like we were playing a game and finally she beat me and managed to spit it out just when I had reached for something else. And pacifier number two hit the ground.

I grabbed yet another one from my bag--surprised I had so many of these on me. But by then she was bored with the binkies. I looked at the clock. Twenty minutes left. We could do this. She really shouldn't need to eat right now.

I tried to hug her against my shoulder, sway her back and forth, cradle her, but she wasn't having it.

She was interested in the jacket my neighbor was wearing since it was a black and white zebra design. Lil' J played with her for a few moments before she started whining again. My friend thought maybe she had gas. So I laid her down on my knees and did a move I learned in our yoga class that helps relieve gas. I pulled her legs down toward me, then pushed her legs up towards her chest. In the middle of the second rep she let out a toot. And another one, and laughed. She thought it was funny.

I started making faces at her and tickling her and she kept smiling and laughing the entire rest of the class period, without another moan or whine.

It was then I realized it wasn't her fault I kept feeding her every time she whined, it was mine. I just assumed she was hungry every time when in fact she just could be getting bored.

Feeding on demand doesn't mean every time my daughter cries she's hungry, I just sometimes assume that's what's she wants. I thought she wanted to eat every hour when in fact, I was just offering to feed her every hour and of course she'd eat. It's one way to pass the time when you're bored! She's a growing human being a had a big variety of wants now, including time to play.

Even though I wasn't in the mother's lounge the last hour of church missing Sunday school class, I instead missed the lesson because I was busy laughing and playing with my baby. Either way, there's a season for everything. I'm learning this season of my life may just mean missing a few (or a year and a halfs worth of) church lessons. But at least today I learned my own personal lesson: My daughter sometimes, just wants to play.

The Calling Pt.2

Getting a calling in a ward takes me back to the fourth grade... On the playground getting ready to play kickball. I was waiting for one of the two team captains to pick me for their team. I knew which team I wanted to me on and every time that other captain went to pick someone I prayed it wasn't me.

For those of you who don't know about the LDS church, there's basically a few different sections women can get "called" to. There's "musical" callings, where you'll lead people in singing, play the piano, stuff like that. "Nursery" which is kind of self explanatory... You work with the kids ages 1.5-3. "Sunday school" callings where you'll teach different age levels of classes, "Primary" where you'll teach and sing with kids from 3-11. "Young Women's", working with the teenage-aged girls from 12-18. And "Relief Society" where you'll work with the older women of the church, 18 and up. But where I go, after all of the other younger women are picked called to help with those other things...So that usually means women approaching retirement and up are those left going to Relief Society.

I was so nervous about what my church calling would be in my new ward. This post will catch you up to speed. Well, I found out a couple of weeks ago what I'll be doing for the next little while.

Finally, after 5 years of being stuck with the same Relief Society teacher calling time and time again I made a plan to get out of the cycle.

First, I told everyone I met who seemed nice that I did not want that calling. One of the women happened to be the bishop's wife (that wasn't intentional, but helpful).

Next, I avoided going to any Relief Society activities. Usually when I'd start a new ward I'd go to an enrichment night or some activities to get to know people faster. Then, within a matter of weeks I'd get the dreaded call! This time I avoided activities I thought would put me back in that predicament... At least until I got a calling other than the one I was hiding from.

Finally, I flat out told the bishop I didn't want to be a Relief Society teacher. That I had done it at every ward I had ever been in since I started attending the group and that I would really like to try something new for a change. He was nice, and it seemed like he really understood where I was coming from.

Then whatdoyaknow... A couple of months later I'm called into a little room for that special meeting... My heart is thumping because I know FOR ONCE I'm going to be called to something new... I'm going to get to try something different. I had said I'd be excited to do anything... Really? 'Did I say Anything? What was I thinking?' Ok... Anything but that and Gospel Doctrine teacher.

I got really anxious to hear what I'd be doing and they asked me to be a Sunday school teacher... For the 17 and 18 year olds! Whaa?! I feel like I'm basically their age! And how am I going to make Sunday school interesting to them?

I'm really quite nervous an intimidated about it. To be honest, I was hoping for some thing in Primary. I mean it is so too much to ask to work with cute kiddos all day? Or maybe it's the Lord's way of protecting me from an extra dose of birth control (speaking of which I have an update on that situation coming soon). But anyway, I'm SO grateful that it's at least something new. I think it should be fun!

I'll teach the whole month of May but I'll team teach every other week after that. My first Sunday teaching is next week. The lesson: Law of Consecration. Wish me luck!

Oh, and don't forget to enter My Giveaway going on right now! I'm going to start doing a lot more pretty soon so stay tuned! :)

The Challenge

I'm worried I'm going to be a bad example for my kids. I always told myself "when I have kids we have to have FHE (family home evening) EVERY WEEK," "I want to have family scripture study and prayer NIGHTLY," and "We have to make it to church ON TIME." Great goals to have, but how am I going to do that then if I can't do that now? I want to say I'm a bad mother and I'm not even a mother yet! Oh dear... That's good for myself esteem. Future kids I'm sorry... I'm trying to get ready and I'm glad you'll soon forget the bad example I'm being right now.

One of the most difficult things for me to do it wake up. I LOVE sleeping in. Even if it's just until 9 o'clock it makes a WORLD of a difference. I only have to wake up at 7am 3 days a week for work (the other two days I don't have to be at work until 1) and I HATE waking up for work during the week. It's horrible. Sundays, I try to get up by 8 so we can be at church on time at 9... How many times has that happened lately? ONCE!! It's pathetic. How am I suppose to be able to not only dress myself, but little people for church every week? I can tell now that sleep is going to be my ultimate sacrifice for parenting. Not getting fat, not stretching and ripping Lord knows what body parts. Not reducing my personal time, but SLEEP!
HELP!!
PS: sorry for the second post today, it wasn't my intent to hog your feeds. This was just a problem for me today as I struggled to put myself together before church and I thought you'd have words of wisdom for next week :)

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Today is my 4 month anniversary of starting this blog! Woohoo! It's also time to draw a winner for my 100th post contest. I got sooo much good mommy advice, and ideas for future posts as well as ideas for cute baby boy stuff to give away in the future. Random.org selected number 38 so the lucky winner is *drum roll please*... Pam from Hands on Learning Fun. Who is actually having a giveaway of her own right now so go check it out!

If you missed this giveaway, don't give up!! I have another one going on right now that ends in a couple of days! So enter away!

The Choice

Which would you choose?

Of course in a "perfect world" (stereotypical perfect world in my opinion) a woman would stay home, be a great mom, and wife, take care of the children, and the father would work, and provide for the family. Well that's not a reality for most families today. It's not. Apparently around 75% of families in the United States are dual-income families, or both parents work. that's very eye opening... Especially since I feel like most of the women reading my blog are stay at home moms.

Now I'm going to stir the pot a little, I'm beginning to go back to my old liberal thoughts a little when it comes to some "expectations" for family child-rearing practices (especially when it comes to LDS families).

This is a quote I often here when relating to "The Timing" of having children:

President Kimball said, “It is an act of extreme selfishness for a married couple to refuse to have children when they are able to do so” (Ensign, May 1979, p. 6). When married couples postpone childbearing until after they have satisfied their material goals, the mere passage of time assures that they seriously reduce their potential to participate in furthering our Heavenly Father’s plan for all of his spirit children. Faithful Latter-day Saints cannot afford to look upon children as an interference with what the world calls “self-fulfillment.” Our covenants with God and the ultimate purpose of life are tied up in those little ones who reach for our time, our love, and our sacrifices.

It's hard to admit this out loud, but reading stuff like this often pushes me in the opposite direction of the way they're trying to lead. It's not that I'm rebellious, it's that I can't help but feel that it's either 1. Out of context or 2. Not meant for everyone.

When I read “It is an act of extreme selfishness for a married couple to refuse to have children when they are able to do so” the key words to me are "able to do so"... Able to me means ready... In many ways.

Some would see this and think it means "Get to it! What are you waiting for?" But that can't possibly be the case in every scenario. That can't possibly mean, "if you don't have any money have faith and we'll give you welfare of all else fails." I don't know... Maybe it does, and maybe I'm an evil person for saying this but that just seems irresponsible to me.

This may sound like a previous post I had, but if you bear with me, I'm trying to be more specific.

When you compare this with other doctrine it seems even more challenging. In other scripture like The Family Proclamation it says things like "...Fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children." I'm sure leaders of the LDS church know there's not a cookie cutter situation for every family (at least I hope so) and that these are GREAT guidelines, but I can't believe that this is really what it expected of everyone. Especially not if you put both quotes together. Sometimes (like in my case) one wouldn't be possible if the other is necessary.

I can't help but feel a little envious of women who are at home with their children while their husbands make all of the money. Hey... Most of America doesn't had that privilege. But I think it's a little much to expect that of everyone. What if the husband can't make enough to support a family but the wife can? Should you "wait" until he can? But then you're breaking "rule #1". Or should the dad stay at home while the wife works... But you break "rule #2"?

It seems that in some--No, a lot of cases you have to choose one or the other. An even bigger extreme: What if you're both unemployed? Have a kid anyway?

Am I alone here? Am I reading too much into this? I believe in faith and miracles but I also, agree with Cynthia when she says ultimately we live with our choices and I try not to "check my brain at the door."

I really do welcome all of your opinions so please, don't let my crazy rant scare you off, even if you're not with me on this.

The Calling

Ever since I've been old enough to be in Relief Society I've been called to teach in Relief Society. It's the calling that won't leave me alone. My husband and I have moved about 6 or 7 times since being married. That at least 5 different wards and in EVERY ward I have been called to that same calling. No lie, I have never done anything else.

My most recent abduction to the calling was in Springville, Utah. When I received a phone call requesting a meeting with the bishop I knew what was coming.

"I'm going to say no," I'd whine to my husband. "I have had it! I can't escape it and I know it's coming for me again." I talked about it as if it were a relentless plague coming to get me, kill me for good.

It wasn't that I hated what I was doing, I was just tired of doing it.

Come Sunday (or whatever day it was the bishop called me in) he said the dreaded words I only hoped I wouldn't hear: "We'd like to call you to be a Relief Society teacher."

I was only half expecting the words I said to follow: "I'll pray about it." The look on his face was something to the effect of: Oh no she didn't! I could tell he wasn't expecting that response either. He asked me to get back to him within the week and I did... of course accepting the calling. Although I'm still pretty sure the bishop couldn't stand me after that.

In our most recent move to Austin I haven't been given a calling yet. I started at a new ward in January and I know a calling is coming soon. Sunday after sacrament I was waiting for my husband in the chapel when a woman approached me. I'm a little hesitant at first. Here's my strategy: Be extra nice to primary people, make sure they know how much I LOOOOOVEE kids, and be more shy around RS women, don't let them know how cool I am. This woman had a baby on her arm and I immediately went soft.

"This isn't my baby," she said. "Sister Smith's husband sits on the stand so I help her watch her kids during sacrament." She talked about how she loves kids and I jumped right in, blurting out all of my business.

"Me too, I'm actually hoping I get a calling in primary or something so I can work with them," I exclaimed. "I need to be really nice to the Primary President or something because I'm ALWAYS called as a Relief Society teacher."

"Oh," she smiled. "Well my husband is the bishop so I'll see if I can put in a good word for you."

[insert foot in mouth]

Good thing I have such dark skin because all of the blood was rushing to my face and all I could manage to say was "oh really?!" She probably thought I planned the whole thing.

Just then a short man walks up and introduces himself "Hi, I'm Bishop M. I had my wife grab you so I could introduce myself."

"Cool," was pretty much all I could think to say. I'm usually not hard to catch, but all I was thinking was 'you're the bishop? I thought it was the other guy with the brown hair.' I'm always thrown off when there's an extra high council member on the stand (you LDS people know what I'm talking about).

He asked to speak with me for a moment and I feared what was coming. I saw his wife whisper in his ear before we turned out of the chapel. I knew what she was doing, but it gave me little comfort... More embarrassment actually.

As we made our way into his little office I thought of a strategy: Get to him before he gets to you.

He sat me down and asked me one simple question: "So tell me about yourself." And that was all I needed.

"Well, I moved here in June but was going to a different ward because of the time difference, and I have work at 1:30 and I'm so glad this ward, our real ward, is starting at 9am now and I'm so excited to be here, and everyone seems so nice and I am really excited for a calling but I've had the same calling for the last five years and I don't know if it's because the Lord is trying to tell me something or if it's because I always go to those enrichment meeting things when I start in a new ward then the ladies try to--"

"--Immediately give you a call in Relief Society, I understand." He interrupted me, but I could tell he could feel where I was going with this.

'YESSSS' I thought to myself. 'Success!'

"So you basically would like any calling but one in the Relief Society?" He asked me.

"Yes," I replied a little too quickly.

"Great, well I can almost assure you that won't happen. We don't need you there right now." He goes on to tell me they (whoever they are) are meeting on Tuesday to discuss callings and they may come up with something then.

So there I am glowing... 'I'll do anything' I'm thinking. I met up with my husband in Sunday school and couldn't wait to tell him the news.

"I'm going to get a different calling!" I cried.

Now here I am, excited for Sunday, or whenever it is that I'll get a call about a calling. I'm a little worried that I said anything, but as long as it's not something like Gospel Doctrine teacher I'll be happy. But seriously people IS A PRIMARY CALLING SO MUCH TO ASK?! I thought I'd be a key candidate.. Young, married, happy, spawnless. What else do they want from me?

Nonetheless I'm excited to find out what my calling will be for the FIRST TIME. Solely because I know it won't be Relief Society teacher, the calling I've been damned with for the last 5 years.

Is it just me, or does this happen to you too?

The Mommy Moment of the Month Pt2

Well, continuing in my tradition I just started last month I'm doing the second Mommy Moment of the Month- this time for December!

I can't imagine what it's like trying to get 3 kids under five ready for church every Sunday. Tyne does is every week! It's hard enough trying to get MYSELF ready and to church on time. I'm not sure if every Sunday is a battle like this with breakfast, screaming kids and flaming popcorn (I sure hope not). But one thing's for sure... Any mom that can go thorough all of this and STILL make it to church (with the whole family) deserves a medal!

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The Sanctuary has Come Undone!

Crushed red pepper flakes, shards of glass, toothpicks... all just signs of the madness that was to come to my sanctuary on Sunday morning.

McClaine wakes, screaming at 7:30 am. My sweet husband retrieves McClaine and his siblings, that he managed to wake, and takes them all to the playroom so I can continue to sleep. Caleb can do this, he has a supernatural ability to sleep on our horribly uncomfortable couch, with three children crawling on top of him and that dang "Hot Dog, Hot Dog, Hot Diggety Dog" song blasting in the playroom. He has the safety gate up, I am sure, otherwise I would have been woken by more children than just Avery.

And she was so sweet and quiet when she came in, that I hardly woke from my sleep to nod incoherently, that she could heat up my corn bag in the microwave. People, I was nearly unconscious, that is the only reason why I gave my four year old daughter permission to put the sock filled with deer corn (that when microwaved for 2 minutes brings deep relief to my aching muscles) into the microwave. So I doze back to sleep, and Caleb continues to sleep through Little Einsteins.

12 minutes later I wake to the smoke alarm going off and what smelled like a movie theatre burning to the ground. I run out of the bedroom, frantic and disheveled, and find Caleb looking just as confused and dazed standing at the open microwave door wondering what in the heck exploded in our microwave. So he unplugs the microwave and I proceed to explain what I thought had happened.

8:20 am, we have a plan... I will take a quick shower and he will feed the kids breakfast so we can make it out the door to church on time. 8:28, I am out of the shower and hear Caleb yelling for me to help. Audrey's diaper had exploded, and apparently he needed assistance because he was making french toast and it was burning on the stove. French Toast, delicious, thoughtful and a HORRIBLE choice when you only have 35 minutes to get 5 people out the door. So I run into the kitchen in my towel, pull the pan off the stove top and pour three bowls of cereal while Caleb changes Audrey's diaper. Then I run back to my bathroom to dry my hair and put on my clothes.

Avery is screaming. Screaming. "Sit down, Audrey. You better sit down. Daaaaaaaaaaaddddddddddy, Audrey's standing up in her highchair. Daddy, Where are you?"

Great question. Where the heck are you and how hard is it to feed the kids three bowls of cereal? So I run again, hair half-dried, only in my undergarments into the kitchen to find...

AUDREY STANDING ON THE HIGHCHAIR TRAY! One foot dangling on the edge, clapping her hands at her proud accomplishment of escaping the straps, the tight tray and climbing on top of the slippery tray 4 feet above our tile floor. I grab the crazy toddler and proceed to run around the sanctuary looking for Caleb. I finally found him out in the back driveway and gave him the look of a crazy woman, "What are you doing?"

"I am trying to extinguish your corn bomb!"

Apparently, when Caleb closed the microwave, it continued to smolder, and smolder, and smolder. When he noticed that smoke continued to spill from the microwave, he took it out. Immediately the oxygen aroused fire, so he threw it out in the back driveway, where the winds caught the mild flames and it combusted into a huge corn bomb. All the while, Audrey is attempting new acrobatics over our tile floor.

9:17, all three children dressed, loaded in their car seats and the White Family leaves their little sanctuary, smelling like they barely escaped a popcorn volcano, to go worship the Lord at a more peaceful and fresher smelling sanctuary...

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See the story on her blog here.

I'm looking for a January post! Let me know if there's one I should check out!
Once again, since I'm not even a mother myself and this blog is about ALL types of motherhood (pre, to-be, one-day, and actual) I'll look at blogs from my friends who may not be mom's yet either, because those stories are just as great!